Adventure in the Everyday

Almost every day I ask God for an adventure, some unexpected turn of events that transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary. It rarely comes in the shape or form I expect. 

Today, my back went out while pulling on my boots at the office, a simple task that sometimes catches us middle-agers by surprise. If you've ever had your back go out, you know how the day went, catching my breath in a sharp intake each time I attempted to stand up or sit down or turn, etc. There's not much that makes you feel more like an old lady than deliberate attempts to maneuver the most basic of moves at tortoise speed. Anyway on the way home our bus broke down 2.5 miles from my apartment. Normally I wouldn't worry about the delay because I'm just heading home, but tonight my little one had a band concert that I just had to be at! If I stayed to wait for the next bus I'd miss her performance. So I did what any sane parent with back pain would do--got off the bus to run / walk the rest of the way. Javier my Spanish-speaking friend got off with me so I would be safe, since we had a long stretch along Alameda Ave in not the best neighborhood to travel on foot. Along with another rider who chose not to wait it out, the three of us ran (aka slipped and slid), bundled in our snow pants and snow coats and snow boots carrying our backpacks in the 18 degree temps up the hill on the icy snowy sidewalk all the way to Belmar, gasping and coughing and sweating and laughing and talking in Spanglish. Javier kept checking his watch to assure me we were going to make it. Thirty five minutes later over hill and dale we arrived at my car, and after mi amigo helped scrape the sheet of ice off the windshield, I drove and got to the concert on time with 5 minutes to spare! I was a sweaty mess and later got chilled but se la vie. And I didn't think I was going to exercise today because of me achin' back. We all decided it was our best bus ride home ever.

What's In Your Jar?

A little over two years ago, on January 1, 2014, I was determined, despite circumstances, to somehow make the coming year one of the best. I bought a colorful jar at a local thrift shop and brought it home, cleaned it up, and placed it on a prominent shelf in our living room. Each day, if and when something positive happened that caught me by surprise, I took a moment to jot the event down on a scrap of paper and toss it in the jar, with hopes of filling it by the year end.

Some happenings I wrote down were notable blessings, others just small acts of kindness, or a glimpse of beauty. Someone bought me dinner. I found a hidden $20 in an old coat pocket. The sunrise was an orange-pink creamsicle. I was invited to meet Peyton Manning at a breakfast. My car started again after stalling out. I found the more I wrote down, the more I started noticing all of the remarkable things that were happening all around me all throughout the day. I wondered if other years had been like this, and I just hadn't noticed. June came and the jar was overflowing. I had to start another jar.

A study was done by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCoullough on the impact gratitude has on our well being. They put people into three groups -- one group with instructions to simply keep a daily journal, no specifications as to content. The second group was to only record negative experiences, and the third to make a list of things they were thankful for. The results? Those who daily expressed their gratitude experienced less stress and depression and had higher levels of enthusiasm, energy, and determination, concluding that those in the third group were more likely to make progress toward the achievement of personal goals and exhibit an optimistic view of life.

I'm not much for get-rich-quick schemes, but I do believe that incorporating gratitude into our daily lives is an easy and practical way to increasing a sense of abundance. Realistic optimism, a trait of emotional intelligence, results from seeing opportunities despite negative obstacles around us. It's that ability to see challenges as hurdles that can be leaped, being unfazed by defeat, and operating from a mindset of success rather than a fear of failure. It's not that the negative things no longer exist, or happen; it's that we no longer primarily focus on them and let them bog us down. 

On December 31, 2014, at 9pm, I emptied my jars. Seeing the hundreds of notes spread out across my bed, and reading the little snippets of love, joy, and wonder that I experienced the year before, many of which I'd forgotten, made my heart sing. I felt like the richest girl in on earth! This practice of expressing gratitude in writing changed my heart from the inside out and completely refreshed my perspective. 

If you're struggling to find the good in your day-to-day life, don't wait until the start of the new year to develop the mindset of gratitude. November is as good of month as any to start. It may be a stretch at first to even find one positive thing in your day worthy of writing down, but try it.  Search for them, if needed, as you'd scour the house for a valuable possession you misplaced. Keep your eyes, ears, and hearts attuned to even the tiniest of blessings, no matter how silly they may seem. 

Then let me know how your jar's looking by June.

“To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our lives is necessarily great. It just means we are aware of our blessings.” -- Robert Emmons