How Well Do You Stretch?

Stretch Armstrong was my favorite childhood toy. Swayed by the commercials that came on between Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island that touted his amazing agility to be extended to unfathomable lengths, I hoarded my allowance money for weeks until I had enough to deposit on the check-out counter at K-Mart and walk out with my arms happily wrapped around my coveted prize. 

Kenner Toys couldn't have come up with a better name for him. Stretch could really stretch. And because of this unique ability that set him apart from Barbie, Ken. and GI Joe -- the likes of who could only bend to a certain point before breaking -- his value and worth soared and kept him from being "shelfed" for that season of my life, unlike his peers with limited agility.

Personal agility, the ability to anticipate the need for change before it is imposed, and to be able to react appropriately to it, often stretching beyond our comfort zone, is also a valuable skill in the workplace. In an ever-advancing corporate world, those of us who can't exercise plasticity -- the Barbies and Kens and GI Joes of the team -- may discover that we quickly lose our ability to lead and contribute effectively. Change is inevitable. Remaining inflexible, denying the need for change and being unwilling to explore the new opportunities that newness may bring can render us ineffective as a leader or team member.

It's normal to experience denial and resistance when there's movement down a new path, especially when you haven't been a part of the decision-making process initiating the transition. If you're not one who likes to be stretched -- but realize you may need to learn how -- maybe it's time to make some shifts in that direction. It won't be easy -- growth in emotional intelligence rarely is -- but the good news is at least you don't have to don a blue Speedo like Stretch to make it happen. Here are some small steps you can begin to take:

• Acknowledge that denial and resistance are normal, but commit to being open-minded toward the possibilities of new beginnings.
• Listen to the story you are telling yourself about the change. Is it fact or fiction? Be willing to separate out the two and replace the fictitious narratives with reality. Remember that often our perspective is a perspective, not the perspective.
• Be willing to let go of long-held assumptions ("Well, I like the way we've always done it", she says, with arms crossed and feet firmly planted).
• List out which aspects of the change are in your control -- and which are not. Focus on the things you can contribute to and let go of the things that are not in your sphere of influence.
• Resist the temptation to blame any one person or persons for the impending change -- it may seem satisfying in the moment but will only contribute to your inflexible attitude.
• Seek out a coach or mentor during the transition who can help you make the adjustments and learn to stretch.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but those most responsive to change."                                                                   -- Charles Darwin